Friday, January 14, 2005

Mud Wraps and Metrosexuals

My lovely wife recently dragged me away to an 'indulgence' B&B for a couple of days. I just don't understand the purpose of the places. We arrived at lunchtime on a 38 degree day. The people then insisted that we have a sauna followed by a shower then a massage then a spa. I just wanted to go the pub and have a beer, now that would be relaxing. That night dinner was cooked for us and they had a theatre room to watch movies. The pub would still have been more fun and more relaxing.

Next day things got worse. We were booked in for a mud wrap and another bloody massage. I have never had a mud wrap before and I guarantee I will never have another one again. It is the closest I have been to being a homosexual. The whole process is revolting and whats worse I had to pay for it! Some bloke smearing some stinking mud all over me then wrapping me plastic is just a horrible experience. What is the point of it? It does not relax anything, costs a fortune, ruins the towels and is overall a thoroughly unpleasant experience. Of Course my wife enjoyed it, and thought it was "Wonderful". Never again for this man. Next time she wants to do this she can take a friend and I will let them have the 'benefits and pleasures of the Massage'. I will go fishing and/or to the pub.

Am I unusual? Is the world becoming overun with metrosexual wimps who have pedicures etc?Men who worry about what their complexion is like? What makes men do these things? I only did it for some peace and quite. Let me live in a world where I am not expected to appreciate the vanity displayed by so many men and women nowadays.